Domestic violence is never justified in any circumstance. Indeed, the impact on the family is among the most tragic effects of combat stress.
We send our sons and daughters to war and they return to us changed men and women. Often the changes manifest themselves violently or through withdrawal. Gone untreated, post traumatic stress and traumatic brain injury can devastate families and leave them fragmented.
ACVOW offers debriefings to units returning from combat to Camp Pendleton or Twenty-nine Palms. The debriefings help Marines to recognize the symptoms of PTSD, but too few are willing to accept assistance, leaving families vulnerable to its debilitating effects. The National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder also distributes a helpful Guide for Families (click here, or on the graphic at left to download) to help family members understand and cope with PTSD. The Center offers other helpful resources for families such as how to cope when a family member has been called to war and information for children of veterans with PTSD.
We urge any family member to contact ACVOW if you suspect your combat veteran is experiencing post traumatic stress. Call us at (858) 552-7501 or email Bill Rider at wrider@acvow.org.
The US Army produces a video that may help families recognize symptoms and cope with post traumatic stress.
View it here.
The Helps Starts Here website for Social Workers in the state of Washington has good information about spouses coping with PTSD. They urge spouses to listen and not judge:
“War is a bad thing and terrible things happen. That doesn’t make your vet bad. Listen if he talks about the war. Don’t judge, and don’t try to stop or smooth over his emotions. When he tells you trauma stories, you might tell him he did the best he could under the circumstances, and wars are horrible. If the stories overwhelm you, it’s ok to say you need to take a break and you are working on listening. If he doesn’t talk about the war after a few months at home, you may want to suggest he see a counselor if he is showing symptoms of PTSD. If he does talk about the war, it’s not a good idea to ask for details because this may bring on a flashback. It’s not helpful to tell him you understand what he went through because you don’t and can’t. It’s probably not helpful to tell him he is a war hero as there may be things he did in the war that disturb him. Rather you can say he is your hero by making it home. If he cries, let him cry with you or alone, and don’t try to interrupt or stop this. It’s probably a sign of healing. Make sure you have someone safe to debrief with as well.
Make an effort to learn who his favorite comrades were during the war. Keeping in contact with these comrades can sometimes be helpful with reentry, and staying in touch with them may last forever, and help with coming to grips with the reality of the war they fought.”
There are plenty more resources for family members to help cope with PTSD. Please call us at (858) 552-7501 or email us at wrider@acvow.org.
